Civil Service 5 – 1 Wandsworth Borough Women

Goal: Mulcahey

Assist: Green

PoM: Mulcahey

A combination of the Boat Race, dopey SatNavs and the inability to read maps conspired to disrupt preparation for our important match in Chiswick with Civil Service last Sunday. The team WhatsApp Group was alive with messages such as ‘I’m at a Laser Park’, ‘Am I at the right ground?’ , ‘Stuck in traffic’ and ‘Can’t see you?’ so in line with Manager Dave’s strict rule that latecomers start on the bench, a few adjustments were made to the starting XI prior to the game. Contrary to their reputation for efficient administration, the Civil Service didn’t appear too bothered when the referee hadn’t turned up by kick-off, leaving us in the dark (and cold) on the opposite side of the pitch. This was the same pitch that the Men’s First team played their AFA Senior Cup Final on a few weeks ago, which is noted for its enormous dimensions, allegedly the same as the pitch at Wembley. We issued our wide midfielders, Gemma and Hannah, with semaphore flags so they could communicate effectively across the vast expanse.

Having filed their team sheet in triplicate, the Service started well, their forwards moving well and disrupting our defence. Within half-an-hour they had moved into a two-nil lead, the second particularly frustrating as we had about 25 chances to clear the ball as it bobbed around the penalty spot. Eventually of course it fell to an oppo player, who poked in past stand-in keeper Paige, deputising for Hannah Smith once again. Things were looking bleak, but within three minutes we’d halved the deficit with another Kirsty special. Sophie played the ball forward and Greeny worked the ball into Kirsty’s path in the centre, about 25 yards out. One touch, then a piledriver soared over their keeper into the net. Just the lift we needed, and for the rest of the half we looked on top, with Gemma getting down the wing and Becks probing down the middle.

Half-time came and went, and the first 15 minutes of the second half were very tight, with Borough if anything looking the stronger side. On the hour, the turning point of the game arrived and slapped us in the face like a furious Will Smith. A quick ball through the middle of our high back-four initially caused no alarm as two of their forwards chasing the pass were clearly in offside positions, as viewed from our parallel position on the touchline. Our resident lino Alan duly raised his flag and, as their player ran on and slotted home, we waited for the ref to notice the flag and disallow the goal. And waited. And waited. Inexplicably, he decided to overrule the flag and awarded the goal. Understandably this infuriated the players and touchline alike; I quickly ushered Dave into his protective cage to prevent him incurring another fine for expressing his view to the official.

To their credit, the girls channelled their annoyance into determination, and stepped up their efforts to claw their way back into the game. These efforts failed to create any clear chances though, and twenty minutes from time Civil made it 4-1 to effectively finish the game. A last-minute fifth put a flattering gloss on the scoreline.

So hopes of the runners-up slot vanished, but we can still finish third with a win in our last game and the restoration of two unfairly lost points against Parakeets, which are subject to appeal. This would be fair reward for an excellent season for the ladies, who have made great strides this season under the tutelage of Manager Dave. As the saying goes, We Go Again.