Standing in for Manager George as he sunned himself in Tenerife, I arrived early at WBFC Central (Richardson Evans) in good time to help prepare the team for their coming trials against Woking Reserves. First though, the routine task of putting up the nets, accompanied by game assistants Gemma and Emma. As we unfurled the netted monsters from their captive bag, a horrible thought overcame me…in over 45 years of adult amateur football, I’d never done this before. Never mind, can’t be difficult can it? I soon realised that someone had swapped the nets for an enormous, live Rubik’s Cube, which squirmed and gyrated like a demented octopus. After a fraught fifteen minutes trying to tame the beast, the opposition Manager casually informed us that we had it upside down, which explained a lot. A further five minutes’ wrestling, and the resulting effort, while functional, would not have won any presentation awards. Still, practice makes perfect they say, and the second such operation was accomplished with some speed, and a much more satisfactory aesthetic appeal. ‘Net of the Year’ nominations have been submitted.

And so to the game. After I had delivered a comprehensive description of how to play 4-3-3, with the aid of diagrams and glove puppets, the Borough proceeded to follow the plan to the letter, forming a solid defensive barrier with ‘sweeper-keeper’ Chloe tidying up anything that sneaked through. Going forward too, we began to create chances with Leah, Gemma and Kay all going close, ably prompted by the returning Hannah Lovell. Too many times, however, we failed to make the most of opportunities by overplaying the through ball, or rushing the pass when a calmer approach would have yielded more benefit. Woking attacks were few and far between but, from one such sortie, a speculative shot from 25 yards sneaked into the bottom corner more by luck than judgment. HT 0-1.

The same pattern persisted in the second half, with our play in the final third not matching that in other areas of the pitch. As we inevitably tired, play became more scratchy and hopeful than structured and considered. Chances began to diminish, and it looked as if the game was wandering towards a narrow defeat. Then we forced a corner in added time, without doubt our last chance to get something we deserved from the game. The cross came in, the ball dropped into the six-yard box, bounced off a defender’s legs to… arch-finisher Kayleigh Hobbs, who poked it home to send her team-mates, and a suddenly biased Linesman, into shrieks of delight.

So a deserved point from an encouraging performance with plenty of team spirit. We just need to work on a bit more composure in the final third, improving our decision-making and execution, and more goals will come.

Now, can someone help me take these nets down?