As match preparation goes, last Sunday’s Ladies’ experience was more Whitehall farce than Richardson Evans tragedy. Once again a 15-strong squad was reduced to the bare 11 overnight, 4 drop-outs testing the endurance of those who turned up and Darren and Graham’s sanity. It was clearly too much for Darren as he forgot the ‘Bag with the Goalie Gloves’, without which it is of course impossible to proceed. As he scuttled home to correct his error, and with Graham desperately trying to fulfil the pre-match administrative duties, those players who had turned up wandered aimlessly around the pitch like a flock of sheep wondering where the Collie had got to. Eventually they settled for practicing corners with a single ball, while the opposition foolishly concentrated on passing routines and performing extensive callisthenics.

By this time enough versions of the match sheet had been produced to stock a toilet paper dispenser as Darren had taken the original with him, prompting the referee, Graham and Kingstonians to offer various solutions written on both official forms and stray Twix wrappers. The surreal atmosphere was then confirmed as Darren emerged from the trees behind the A3 goal just in time to thrust the goalie gloves onto Scotty’s waiting hands as the referee signalled the start of the game.

Surprisingly, Kingstonians were 1-0 up one minute later. A corner dropped into the six-yard box, and from the ensuing scramble, a Kingstonian toe-poked it over the line. Perhaps we should have practised defending corners rather than attacking them. Pulling ourselves together, we got back into the game and gave as good as we got for a while. Then an unlucky slip on the edge of the box left Scotty exposed, and it was 2-0.

Kingstonians repaired to the RE dressing rooms at half-time, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. They’re obviously not familiar with the Pavilion heating system.

The second half was pretty even, but we just don’t appear to be able to fashion clear chances at present and goal attempts were few and far between. A fine finish from one of the few efforts from the opposition made it 3-0 half-way through, and that concluded the scoring. Tanya hobbled off and we played the last 25 minutes or so with 10 players.

Another disappointing defeat, but performances have clearly improved and it can’t be long before we pick up some more points. One thing’s for certain though, that we all need to pull together and make every effort to be available every week, and certainly think twice before dropping out at short notice. Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own behaviour, and consider the impact on others’ enjoyment when they don’t show or turn up late. If we’re not all together, then we’ve little chance.