BOROUGH DISH OUT A BATTERING

This week’s pre-match build-up centred around a landmark 100th club appearance for Andy Ward; the traditional bouquets were exchanged and players sang the national anthem before being treated to a moving speech from their captain, who highlighted Andy’s team-first attitude and unceasing sportsmanship.

What followed next, therefore, was difficult to comprehend.

The 6s' forwards watched the opposition lining up before them, their eyes lighting up with an evil, opportunistic glint. Flagrantly disregarding the captain’s decree that no civilised team should ever seek to win by a margin greater than five goals, Boro shamelessly raced into a 7-0 lead before the half time whistle was, mercifully, blown.

The captain, grim-faced, used his half time team talk to admonish his players, reminding them of the team’s values and instructing them to make more of a game of it during the second half.

It was with some measure of disgust, therefore, that he watched an unrepentant Boro score an immediate eighth goal following the restart. A ninth was added shortly afterwards before a tenth goal was disallowed by the referee who, displaying a generosity of spirit sadly lacking in many of the players, deemed it ungentlemanly conduct.

The referee’s message had been very clear, although apparently insufficiently so for the thickheadedly amoral Boro players who belligerently insisted on forcing the ball over the goal line one more time to obliterate any last vestige of respectability from the scoreline.

Aghast at what he had seen, the referee had no option but to call an early halt to proceedings to prevent any further damage to the beautiful game’s now-battered soul.