ALLARDYCE TRANSFORMS INTO ALLARDICI!

Friday afternoon, the ever-reliable Wandsworth Borough Newsletter (always a good read) came through detailing the 5s had a “short trip” to Hampton Court. Thanks to South Western Railway conveniently striking on a Saturday, the resultantly increased traffic and Tim Elsworth’s appalling efforts on the sat nav… it took over two hours to drive from Brixton.

Tim spent far too much time texting his girlfriend, Nadine (think they met on Tinder) who must have loved being kept fully updated on our travel nightmares, so much so that it led to 8 wrong turns, 7 pleas for Tim to concentrate, 6 u-turns, 5 near misses, 4 scrapes, 3 scared pedestrians, 2 laps round Wimbledon’s one way system and a partridge in a pear tree. Anyway we got there with 15 mins to spare before kick-off.

…To find we weren’t the only ones. Jack Cooper was missing in action, Interpol are still out there looking for him. Hux with the kit was stuck in “gridlock traffic” and poor old Sam White had to get changed next to the pitch in torrential rain. This was the perfect recipe for disaster...

We ditched the classic 4-4-2 and went with a 3-4-2-1. Allardyce had finally become Allardici…. However the new formation still needs testing as it would be fair to say that Old Tiffnians weren’t at the races and their poor old keeper had a nightmare (which led to 5 of the 9 goals) despite still pulling off some good saves. All of which was definitely South Western Railways fault. Would like to add though that there was no stopping my left-footed volley!

Next week we are playing on Wandsworth Common…. which really is a short trip and one that no strike can meddle with!