SALMON-BALL DELIVERS THE POINTS

The Borough arrived at Old Pauline’s impressive pitches without Simmo and Snake to oversee things, so like an overweight supply teacher Dan Salmon stepped in. Like naughty students, Partick and Tank turned up late and got changed by the side of the pitch, before a comical warm-up which involved a lap across the pitch and then smashing balls at Belge / the goal / the bumble bees nest behind the goal ensued. Due to not having a pen nor paper we then had to write our team sheet on the back of the oppo’s one with the ref’s pen.

Somehow the shambles didn’t continue on to the pitch, with Borough dominating the ball in the early exchanges in their usual 4-4-3 formation. Being the Borough, we didn’t bother scoring when on top, and after a cross by the Pauline right winger got glanced over Belge by a combination of Griff, Jacko and their centre forward, it looked like we’d be going one down. Belge went all David Seaman though and managed to claw the ball back from behind him and wide and it stayed 0-0. Thinking that we normally score as soon as he’s off the pitch, Salmon switched to 4-4-2 and subbed himself off for Kennedy, also bringing on Scotty (who was starting to sober up). Predictably, not long after the masterstroke Borough went 1-0 up. Gonzy’s cross from the right ended up at the back post, which Scotty recovered and lofted towards the penalty spot. Chris Griff called for it, pirouetted in the air, somehow butted it off the back of his head, and just about turned back round in time to see it roll into the corner.

Half time came with the normal chat of keeping it tight and wondering how many goals we’d score. To make the game more exciting, Salmon put the Tank up front for 10 minutes.

In true Borough fashion, a hoof over the top fell between the defence and Belge, and their centre forward toe-poked home an equalizer a few minutes later. Then Belge got done for handling outside the box and taught everyone a few new swear words when asking the ref politely why he’d made such a decision. Moments later Borough scored probably their best goal of the season when some great football from defence and midfield ended with Tank slipping Jamie in down the right, and as the keeper rushed out Jamie coolly finished into the far corner to put the Borough back on top, and leave Pauline down and surely out. Salmon had other ideas and made a substitution after the hour mark which meant 6 players changed position, just to accommodate him getting back on. Not long after, and purely coincidentally, some farcical defending ended up with the ball being booted at their centre forward and his mate tapping in the loose ball to equalize. Belge continued his conversation with the ref and wasn’t happy he’d missed a possible handball in the build-up.

Partick, who was having too much joy down the left wing, was moved to left back as part of the tactical masterstroke, and his annoyance ended with him bending a corner straight in to the far corner past the flapping keeper. With a few minutes to go, Man of the Match Jamie got an absolute horror of a two footer on him about 40 yards out. As everyone else started complaining to the ref he got back up, dribbled past a couple before laying on a sitter for Scotty, who had finally sobered up enough to seal the three points.

Top work from the lads who stepped in and helped out with a few regulars away, with Scotty even proclaiming “the fours actually play good football now, it used to be chaos”. Simmo back next week to put that right.