"FOUR GOALS, ZERO SHOTS"... THE STORY OF BILLY CROW

It was wetter than an otter’s pocket as winter had finally arrived. The 3s embarked on the short journey from pitch 13 five yards across to pitch 12 to face the unbeaten Old Thorntonians 5s.

The 3s started the game back to the classic four four f**king two, with Tim rejoining his spiritual home in the 3s. Some great possession and some decent chances came and went before the inevitable happened, Old Thorntonians scored against the run of play which was quickly followed up by a second. I took a whack to the head after that so don’t really remember what happened. What I do remember is Will winning a free-kick out on the left wing with a dive Tom Daley would have been impressed with, I whipped a delicious ball in which Trevor gobbled up with a lovely back post header. Buoyed by this goal the 3s started stringing passes together and creating chances, Tim danced his way into the box and clipped a ball to the far post, Bench rose like a salmon to power a header past the despairing keeper. 2-2 just below half time.

The second half kicked off, something happened, not really sure what but then Archie scored after being put through on goal by Lee. Despite still being half an hour left, Archie went sliding off in the corner, celebrating to absolutely nobody but in doing so quite rightly won himself D*ck of the Day. Old Thorntonians did well to get back into the game with a poor set-piece before Tim became the saviour. Billy did well down the right before passing the ball square to Tim to bundle the ball home. There was controversy towards the end as Ali saved one on the line which could have been considered handball but VAR ruled no penalty!

4-3 to 3s final score. Up the Boro!

Everyone got wet, Bench threw up, Billy keeps forgetting that if he doesn’t shoot then he can’t score...